Metasyntactic Variables: Fun with Craigslist, part 78653

Fun with Craigslist, part 78653

Unicorn - $1000000 (New Baltimore)

Date: 2010-09-19, 6:10PM EDT
Reply to: sale-twyag-1962699519@craigslist.org ^{[Errors when replying to ads?]}

For Sale:

One white unicorn that shits bunny rabbits.

Name: Harvey S. Wildenbean.

He was a birthday present from my Grandmother, but I am unable to keep him because he is kind of a dick and gets on my nerves. I know the price is a bit steep, but seriously, it's a unicorn that shits bunny rabbits, people. It's not like I'm selling a turtle or something.

2 comments:

AnonymousSeptember 19, 2010 at 5:41 PM
Does it fly? How many bunnies per day should I expect? Is he drink-your-last-beer or drunk-dial-your-ex-girlfriend-from-your-phone dickish?

Details aside, you may have better luck on ebay.
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Jen RandallNovember 5, 2010 at 3:15 PM
Oh My God! I need this!!! I have legitimate needs to purchase. Please send further details! x
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Tim: "What's a really uncommon name for nonsense? That could make a good title."

Tracy: "Metasyntactic Variables."

Tim: "Holy Shit, that's brilliant. Are those actual words?"

Tracy: "Yes. When I am writing and suddenly the sentence turns into woss-names and blabbity, I am defaulting to metasyntactic variables."

Tim: "That was pretty impressive. Is that too wordy of a blog title, do you think?"

Tracy: "Not really, but we'll have to keep explaining it to people."

Tim: "Not if I put this conversation in the sidebar."

Tracy: "Go for it."

Tim: "Sweet."

Tim was born on the Deathstar. For the most part, his early years were pretty sweet- mostly because he had a lot of robots. Then, one morning, Tim was trying to get a piece of English muffin out of the toaster with a knife, and a jolt of electricity sent him back in time to the jungles of Mozambique. Soon after, he met Tracy, who was not a robot, but Tim liked her despite this. Even though the food was not up to Deathstar quality, life was enjoyable until the great circus monkey rise-up of 2010. Then life sucked donkey balls. Tim's days now consist of practicing the art of the Ninja-Bee way, and texting Tracy in code from his cave on the opposite side of the country.

Sometimes he also plays Backgammon with the hobos, but he does not tell Tracy about that.